Happy Birthday, Mom

Mom would have been 55 today. I'm sure she would have spent it with her new granddaughter and her family. On days like these, I really struggle with the fact that Audrey will never know her. It breaks my heart. She would have been the cutest Granna ever. I say Granna because mom had already picked out her grandmother nickname back when I was still in college!!!! I know she is truly enjoying herself right now, whatever she is doing. I love you, mom!! And Audrey says "ahhhh (hi)". ;)

Fast Forward a Year Plus!!!

Well, I still get emails from time to time from people who are just finding the blog or finding out about mom, so I feel compelled to update this old thing!!

Since my last post, me and Stu have had a little girl, Audrey Krista - born March 16th, 2009 -- 7 lbs 13 oz, 20 inches long. She's precious!!! For more info on her, go to www.babykirk.com! I started a site just for her ;)








Jason got married June 27th, 2009 to Liz. She's a super sweet girl from Roswell. They were introduced through mutual friends and she's the greatest addition to our family!! She fits right in and even reminds me of mom a little in how sweet and caring she is.

See below for pictures..















Well thats about it for now. If you feel so inclined to email me, please do so! I love hearing how dear mom was to everyone so share if you'd like!!

~Lk

June 21st, 2008

Well my entries are getting less and less frequent. For those of you who are still checking from time to time, thanks.

Last month, Smyrna Presbyterian, my mom's church, commissioned an anthem in her memory and performed it at one of their Sunday services. It was absolutely beautiful. They also sang hymns that we sang at her service and the organ piece that was played as we left the sanctuary was also her favorite organ piece. One of the choir members, Robert, who is very artistically inclined, painted this lovely rendering of my mother....


I think its absolutely wonderful. They had this printed on the bulletin and when I saw it, it brought tears to my eyes. Thank you Robert for that.

I'm trying to get on board with this year's Light The Night Walk again. I have set an ambitious goal of $30k this year, but I am really struggling to get it together and get motivated to raise the funds. I keep hoping I will find the motivation somewhere so we'll see.....

If you feel so inclined to help me this year, my new web page for this year's walk is below:

Click Here for Lindsey's Page


Thanks!

~Linds

It's That Time..

I know it has been quite some time since my last post. And those of you still checking, I'm sure you know that we're approaching the one year mark here.

It's weird how it seems like she's been gone forever yet the year snuck up on me. I have to admit that the 29th of EVERY month makes me think about it... not just April 29th. It's hard receiving good news when I want to share it with her. But I take comfort knowing she's where she belongs and enjoying her new Life with the Lord. I just miss her so.

I decided to continue raising money for Light The Night this year. Another team member of mine from last year, Carol -- she also lost her brother to lymphoma around Thanksgiving. So its the two of us along with all of our friends trying to get to $30,000 this year!!!! I know we can do it! If you want to help, go to:

http://www.active.com/donate/ltnAtlant/2286_kirklin82

January 29th, 2008

Wow. Nine months. I dont even know if anyone still checks this site! It's been so long since I last posted, but I thought I would at least put something out there for everyone.

Would you believe it...I still get emails from people about mom and how she touched their lives. I love those emails. I love knowing that mom was such an amazing person that people who don't even know me feel compelled to write to me and tell me how much they loved her. I miss her so much. It's harder now for me than it ever was back in the spring when all of this happened.

I think when this type of thing happens, you are so caught up in the whirlwind of making arrangements, planning events, talking to old friends, that before you know it, everything has happened and you don't realize that everything has changed until you turn around and -- everything has changed.

I talk about mom all the time. It's not a sad thing for me. I love to work her into any conversation I can. And it's usually a funny side note or poking fun at one of the many things I used to rib her about. Examples: leaving Marshall's price tags on all home decor items in her house, leaving the letter "l" out of words like "bulb" and "school" and " "pool" so they become "bub" and "schoo" and "poo", and also making sure tha I don't throw her iced tea glass out, even though it's just an ice glass after dinner. It doesn't make me sad when I speak of her. It's almost like I have to work her in to make sure that I am ok with still making her apart of my everyday life. I don't want it to ever be weird that I am talking about her. And all of my friends have figured it out by now. They are great about talking about her with me. It's never awkward when she comes up. And I love that. I hope I keep that going with my children. I want them to know who she was and what it was like having her here.

I think that's my biggest challenge in dealing with mom's passing: having kids without her. I can't wait for the day I find out I'm pregnant, but in the same sense, I dread it. Because all of the joy I feel in starting a new family will also be accompanied by a woeful feeling of sadness, knowing that my kids will never meet that person that is responsible for making me the person I am today. I know I can tell them stories, but they will never get to hear her beautiful voice or her infectious laugh. They won't get to hear her tell them that they need to have good credit! Or that all of the best deals in town are at Marshalls and GardenRidge. I want them to know her. And that's just not possible. And thats the one thing I can't stand about her being with the Lord. I need her here to help me raise my kids like she raised me. I want them to see her as a living witness and know how to be a true Christian living for Him.

If you've heard of "90 Minutes in Heaven" and haven't read it, at the very least, read the part about heaven. It will give you a sense of what's she doing right now. And it's very comforting.

Hope you're all doing well. Thanks for still checking in on me.

~Lindsey

Christmas

I guess I should be keeping up with this more often. People still mention to me that they check it from time to time. Which is kind of neat, I think. I hope it provides some comfort for you. I certainly helps me.

December has been pretty rough. I have been missing mom more and more as Christmas approaches. I attended Smyrna Presbyterian's Messiah Concert & it was hard to watch the choir sing without my mom. She was such an integral part of that choir in my opinion and it seems odd to not have her up there belting out her solos.

I don't really have that much to report. I managed to get my Christmas decorations up. It was tricky because mom helped me pick out all of my decor a year before she got sick, so all of my Christmas decorations have her stamp on them. Which is good, because I don't know how to make those bows like she did. In fact, that bow thats at the top of my tree, she made. I just continue to put it in this big box every year so it doesn't get smushed and I can reuse it over and over without messing up the bow!

Tomorrow is Memaw's birthday so if you speak to her, wish her a happy one.

Heavy Holidays

As the holidays approach, I am finding myself thinking of mom more and more. Instead of allowing the happy memories to comfort me, I am instead finding them sad. It's hard to picture what Thanksgiving and Christmas will be like without her at the table, telling everyone where to sit (if you've ever been to a gathering of people with my mom, or you are a member of the Smyrna Presbyterian Choir, then you know what I am talking about!).

Our Christmas Tree is the tree she bought for herself a few years ago and gave to us. All of the decorations I use to decorate my house were purchased at a mother-daughter morning at Reeves up here in Woodstock the year before mom got sick. My favorite Christmas albums are Manheim Steamroller - mom would play them every year starting with the day after Thanksgiving. Everything Christmas to me is mom. She even spent Chrismtas 2005 up here with us and we had such a good time.

I love this time of year. I love Christmas and family time and worship services. And while I am looking forward to Christmas, I am not. Because I know that this year, I won't be able to open presents with her or sing carols in harmony.

Mom's Christmas card to me last year is still on my fridge. I felt I needed to keep it last year and I am glad I did. The inside reads, "I am so proud of you. I love you so much. - Mom". I think I will stick that in an envelope and mail it to myself this year. Like she sent it from heaven.

On a lighter note, now that mom's not here to gather the troops, I have taken on the responsibility of getting everyone together about once a month as a family. I think mom would be proud. :) Here is a pic from our last outing this Sunday at Olive Garden.